::: ten things i would tell new moms :::1. trust your instincts- you will be the one that knows your baby best. put your motherly intuition to work because it is uncomfortably overwhelming trying to follow every book you read and every word of advice you are given. everyone. i mean everyone will say something different and recommend something else. it's exhausting and impossible to try everything. so trust yourself. you will figure out what works best for you and your baby no matter what situation you are in.
2. let the clothes be worn- don't hold off on dressing your baby in those cute or expensive outfits because they grow. so. fast. and you want to make sure they get a chance to wear them. one of my favorite outfits was never even worn because i wanted to "save" it for the perfect day. when i finally decided to dress myles in it, he was way to big. don't make the same mistake i did. put your child in that adorably cute outfit as much as possible- every day if you have to!
3. don't compare yourself to others. this is something i feel very strongly about. each child is so different from the next. i struggled with comparing myself at the beginning (first two weeks) because i wanted to be a good mom and doing everything correctly. as a result, my anxiety went crazy and i was constantly questioning myself and second guessing things. its extremely taxing to keep up with everyone around you and all their life-changing ideas. every mom has her own way of doing things and you need to embrace what comes naturally to you. it may take yourself some time to get into your groove, but give yourself time.
4. don't be so hard on yourself. you are doing a fantastic job. motherhood is a 24/7 job and adjusting to having a baby is not easy. everything changes. it's like your blessing of a child is a demanding extension to your body that needs to be tended to and cared for all the time. its okay to mess up, break down, and feel like giving up because it can be unbelievably hard sometimes. its part of process. please be kind and patient with yourself. you'll get the hang of things.
5. cry-cry-cry. babies are notorious for crying and sometimes they will cry and be fussy for no reason. you'll work yourself over trying everything in the book: feeding, rocking, singing, changing the diaper, taking the baby on a car ride, entertaining...repeat. and what happens? your baby starts crying even harder. sometimes it is out of your hands and there is no solution for the crying baby. if you think you're going to lose it- put the baby down in a safe place and go take a breather. you are not being a bad mom.
6. get your rest when you can- if that means nap all day while the baby is napping, do it. forget the piles of laundry spewed all over the floor, the dirty dishes stacked up, and the other million chores you feel you should be doing. honestly, every mothers house has been as dirty as yours. just let it go, you can't do everything - no one is judging you. and if you are breastfeeding, there is nothing more important than sleep. i found that i would produce so much more milk when i was getting a good amount of sleep.
7. give your body time- it grew another human being for goodness sakes. your body produced and nurtured a miracle. i don't think there is a more important calling on this earth than that of becoming a mother and your body made that possible. you'll probably be soft and squishy, but try to find beauty in that. in the sacrifice your body made for your little baby. i know for me personally, i received all of my stretch marks in the last week- you could say i had trees sprouting from my belly button. they were quite a site/still are, but i wouldn't change it. i wouldn't change a thing for my dear myles. love your body and show some gratitude.
8. make sure you get out of the house or your room for that matter. for the first few weeks, i was literally confined to my bed and feeling robotic with the constant feedings, diaper changes, and rocking to sleep that took place. i was overly exhausted and drained so leaving my room didn't seem worth the energy. but looking back things would have been so much better for me if i had stepped out of the room for stimulation alone. i mean i turned into a freaking zombie staying in that room hour upon hour. get out! move around, go outside for some fresh air. it's worth the energy.
9. an hour a day- pretty much every person i have spoken to would offer this advice "give yourself an hour of alone time every day- me time". for sanity purposes and to prevent turning into a zombie you need to take a break. in the beginning, my break was either taking a bath or just making a trip to the grocery store (costco- my fav.). and oh how i needed that time- it makes a world of a difference.
10. your world- the world in the beginning revolves around the baby, but i promise it will change. if you let it. eventually you will need to get chores done, bills paid, run errands, and you can't always be working around the sleeping baby and the feedings. up to about four months, most babies haven't established a consistent sleeping pattern anyway so let them work around your schedule. i think it will make your life that much easier. myles is now three months and i go out when i need to- he usually falls asleep in his car seat. but im glad i don't stress (like i used to) about working around his schedule. it was way to unpredictable, and this way i feel like i have control over my life again.
motherhood thus far has provided me with the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. myles has been such a blessing for taylor and i. he radiates so much happiness and joy. i can't express into words how much love i feel for my little punkin. he makes me a better person. he has stretched me (literally and figuratively) to new limits and forces me to believe in myself when i felt like giving up. i still have a lot to learn!
go visit my first time mama friends jessica & tracie and see what they have to say!